Two adoptions, from two different countries later, and I have become an expert on what to bring with you on adoption travel and, perhaps more importantly, what you can buy there.

Paperwork

If you want, leave everything at home, but the one thing you should absolutely bring is your adoption paperwork. Make sure to have photocopies of your passport, your visas, your travel approval, your letter of acceptance, and your I-800A for your new child. We found bringing a large plastic legal sized accordion file helped keep track of our documents. Looking to save space? For both adoptions, I carried thumb drives with all our adoption information—from the complete home study to the travel approval. Chances are you won’t need them, but our thumb drive came in handy when our daughter’s orphanage offered to upload photos of our daughter’s first 18 months.

Toys

A lot depends on the age of your adopted child, but any toy that promotes bonding and attachment will be key. Think about things you can inflate—like balloons, beach balls, or soccer balls—which will take up less room in your suitcase. Stickers are great, Water Wow! (add water to complete painted pictures), stacking cups, small boxcars, and bubbles are good additions. Worried you won’t have enough? The Chinese Walmart is one of the most incredible stores you will visit. They literally have it all—clothes, diapers, shoes, toys, bottles, etc. We bought our son Legos to play with while we were in the country. The best part? Most hotels have playrooms so when it was time to return home, we just left the Legos for a future family to enjoy.

Medicine

For the most comprehensive list of medical items to take, it is best to consult an international adoption doctor or a travel doctor prior to your trip. We took everything, from scabies cream to lice kits, thermometers, and band-aids. Much of the OTC medicines we have in America exist in China, but the dosage is different. I was glad to have the comforts of Tylenol, Sudafed, and Pepto-Bismol in our travel bags without having to find a chemist.

Food

We took a lot of snacks for our first adoption from China. We had granola bars, peanut butter, cheerios, fruit snacks, the list went on and on. On our recent trip to India, to adopt our daughter, I brought only enough snacks for the plane ride. Here’s why: between the Chinese Walmart, your hotel, and local shops you can really find everything. From chips to chocolate, to even my daily dose of Starbucks, we bought, practically, everything there. If you’re not an adventurous traveler eater, it can be a good idea to bring some emergency granola bars but most hotels where you will stay cater to a full Western menu. Quick adoption tip: stock up on your child’s favorite snacks of the country. If your child is still on formula, be sure to buy some extra boxes while you’re there. When you return home, their favorite familiar treats can help ease the shock of transition. 

Clothes

Since most trips are between 10-14 days I recommend packing 7 days’ worth of clothes. Packing cubes are a great way to save space! Most hotels have laundry service and we did a few loads in our bathroom with a small container of Tide and a clothesline I brought for such purposes. When packing, make sure everything in your wardrobe can go together. It can be hard if you are visiting two different climates so be sure to pack clothing you can layer. Worried about clothes for your newly adopted child? Height and weight can be out of date, or completely miscalculated, so bring clothing for your child that you can fold over or roll up. (Large safety pins were a huge help!) And don’t forget local markets have wonderful, affordable clothing and shoes for your new addition. We bought pajamas, pants, and shoes for our son.

Miscellaneous

Every family has a different miscellaneous list. Ours included hand wipes, diapers—which we should have bought in China—tissues, Tide to Go sticks, small umbrellas, a journal, and a Tula toddler carrier. The carrier was essential for getting around the streets and airport in a timely manner, and the bonus is that carriers promote attachment!

Apps

Although likely not at the top of the list, the right apps can help make your trip successful. The apps we really liked:

1. Google Translate: seriously the best invention. Type in anything and Google Translate will convert it to any language.
2. WeChat: message app used throughout China as the number one means of communication.
3. XE Currency: converts currency in real time between U.S. Dollars and Chinese Yuan.
4. WhatsApp: an easy way to communicate with family and friends back home. Works with wifi so no need for a cell phone plan.
5. TinyScan: takes a picture of any document and converts it into a pdf. Great tool for keeping track of receipts or other paperwork.

However, the most important thing is to bring an adventurous spirit. Adoption travel is, and will be, like nothing you have experienced. Though it can be tough, be sure to take time and appreciate each day. Better yet, record it in a journal! These are the first days of your new life together as a family. That is the greatest, most awesomely wonderful, trip you will ever do.

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Some things you might want to consider as you pack are the long plane ride, traveling with a young child, the weather, and the amount of time you will be gone. The plane ride to China is about fourteen hours. It is suggested that you bring travel pillows and something to do such as a book to read or movies on a device to watch. On your way back from China, you will have a young child with you, so you may need to bring activities for your child to do as well. Anytime you travel, you want to pack clothing for the weather. Prior to your departure, check the weather to see what kind of clothing you need to pack. The last thing you need to consider is the amount of time you will be spending in China. In general, you will spend at least two weeks in China to bond with the child and complete the adoption process. Be prepared with enough clothing in case your hotel doesn’t have the option to do laundry.

There are many other things to consider so find someone you know that has traveled to China for adoption and they can give you tips. Be sure to cover your bases for both the trip there and back. 

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1. Pack light, but consider the climate.

If you are traveling to your birth country, the opportunity to explore a variety of towns, cities, and areas in your country can be a rewarding experience. In order to best move about in a country you are not familiar with, try to pack as light as possible. There are many youtube tutorials and articles on the web about how to pack in order to backpack through Europe or other long-term travel with minimal luggage that can be great resources on how to cram the most “stuff” possible into your luggage, as well as what to consider leaving at home.

In many countries, in order to move from one region to another, you will need to take whatever public transportation is available. Having to lug five suitcases onto a bus multiple times could really put a damper on your experience. That being said, make sure you do thorough research of the climate and weather conditions of your home country in the time you will be traveling. Winter in Russia? You’re going to need warm clothing. Rainy season in South or Central America? A rain jacket. If you are moving about the country, it is possible the weather will change significantly as you move from one area to another. Make sure to do your research so you are able to pack the gear that will be most helpful to you while you travel.

2. Consider a tour.

Many international adoption agencies, as well as other travel agencies and companies, have tours for adoptees returning to their birth country. The advantage of a tour, especially one specifically designed for international adoptees, is that it takes the planning off of your plate and allows you to fully immerse yourself in the culture. If your lodging, transportation and even food are already arranged for you, that’s fewer decisions for you to have to make. Returning to your birth country can be a very emotional experience. Going with a tour can help remove some of the stress for you. Additionally, if you are traveling with other international adoptees, you will undoubtedly be surrounded by people who understand your experience and why this trip is so important to you.

3. Expect the unexpected.

International travel of any kind, particularly to a developing country, can bring many surprises, both good and bad. Once when traveling in Costa Rica, I had the pleasure of sharing a bus ride with not only a number of locals but also multiple chickens. Really. Not something I would have anticipated. Weather can change, flights can get delayed or canceled, sites you may have wanted to travel to could be unexpectedly closed or inaccessible. Try to adapt the mentality that you are up for whatever the ride brings you and that you can roll with the punches.

4. Manage your Expectations.

Along the same lines, manage your expectations of what this trip will be like. Many adoptees idealize their birth countries and imagine that traveling there will be an other-worldly experience. Often, they set themselves up for disappointment if it is anything but perfect. You may find yourself overwhelmed, underwhelmed, disoriented or just plain not having a great time on your trip. Have a positive attitude, but understand that like any new experience, you can’t predict what your trip to your birth country is really going to be like. Also, if you have made plans to meet up with any agency officials, foster parents, orphanage workers, or even members of your birth family, manage your expectations for these interactions as well. You may think you will instantly feel a deep connection to these people who are such an important part of your life’s story, but that may not be the case. Pre-arranged meetings might fall through altogether. Don’t set yourself up for devastation by idealizing any of the people you might be planning to meet. Remember, they are human just like you and this may also be an emotional experience for them. 

5. Get travel insurance.

I highly recommend purchasing travel insurance through a reputable broker. Sometimes tour companies, airlines or third country booking sites provide their own option for travel insurance. Before choosing the provider of your travel insurance, read the fine print. What do they consider an acceptable reason for needing to cancel all or a portion of your trip? What percentage of your trip cost will they refund? How can you contact them while you are abroad? Look online for reviews, or consider talking to whomever provides your car, rental or homeowners insurance. Even if they do not sell travel insurance themselves, they will undoubtedly have a recommendation of reputable sources to purchase it. You never know what life will bring: if you get in a car accident and break both your legs a week before you are supposed to leave for Thailand, are you really going to want to have to travel if you can’t even walk? Though it can be incredibly disappointing to have to cancel a planned trip to your birth country, if you have travel insurance, you can at least recoup some of your investment to plan a trip at a later date.

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For those families who live in the United States and the U.S. Virgin Islands and who are adopting children domestically, the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (ICPC) is extremely relevant for you. This process literally is the lifeblood that connects you to the child you’d like to adopt! Without it, domestic adoption can’t happen for you (with certain exceptions that fall beyond the scope of this article, such as the adoption of a relative). It’s vital to the formation of your family that you familiarize yourselves with “All Things ICPC.”

What Is the ICPC?

The ICPC—as defined by the American Public Human Services Association (APHSA) and its affiliate, the Association of Administrators of the Interstate Compact on the Placement of Children (AAICPC)—is “a statutory agreement between all 50 states, the District of Columbia, and the U.S. Virgin Islands. The agreement governs the placement of children from one state into another state.”

But, how strict is this compact, really? How much do all parties involved in domestic adoption actually have to comply with it?

According to the Academy of Adoption and Assisted Reproduction Attorneys (AAAA), “In general, adoptive families must comply with the ICPC if the prospective adoptive parent(s) reside in a different state than the home state of the child. To legally place a child with residents of another state, both the laws of the sending and receiving states must be complied with. A prospective adoptive parent cannot leave the child’s home state with the child unless approval from both the ‘sending’ and the ‘receiving’ states has been granted.”

Adoptive parent and author Candise Gilbert explains the ICPC like this in her 2015 article that appeared on Adoption.com: “This compact oversees the transfer of a child from one state to another in an adoption or foster situation.” (In this article, Gilbert not only provides an excellent overview but also offers her own personal story and perspective, as an adoptive parent herself.)

Why Is ICPC So Important?

Before a child is placed in a home outside his or her birth state, certain requirements must be met. The goal of the ICPC, in establishing these requirements, is to look out for the wellbeing of children being placed with adoptive families by making certain that whoever is placing the child retains legal and financial responsibility for the child after placement.

The ICPC exists for the sole purpose of “ensuring that children placed out of state are placed with caregivers who are safe, suitable, and able to meet the child’s needs” (APHSA/AAICPC). To accomplish this aim, the compact stipulates that these factors (safe, suitable, able to meet needs) be carefully assessed before releasing a child to an out-of-state placement. As APHSA/AAICPC explains, “Individual state statutes are not enough to ensure that such an assessment takes place prior to placement, because the authority of an individual state and its statutes ends at the state’s border. As a legally binding agreement between all states, the ICPC ensures that children enjoy a uniform set of protections and benefits regardless of which state they are moving to or from.”

What Steps Are Involved in the ICPC?

The general timeline and steps in the placement request process—from initiation to completion—are as follows.

1. Adoption caseworker initiates a placement request process in the state where the child was born (for infants) or where the child currently lives (for older children) by putting together a packet of important information and documentation. Gilbert calls this the “sending state.” The packet contains background on the child (medical information, social history, education) and details on any applicable court cases. Also included are details about the individuals in the receiving state who are intending to adopt the child (e.g., home study, criminal history/background check, medical information, etc.).
2. The packet is sent to the central ICPC office in the sending state (usually the state capital). Note that this central ICPC office will likely not be in the same town as the child. Gilbert explains: “Depending on their methods of communication and document transmission, there may be a number of days getting paperwork from the agency to the ICPC office even within the sending state.” So, patience is absolutely required during this process.
3. The central ICPC office in the sending state double-checks to ensure that everything is in order, makes sure that all necessary materials are present in the packet, and approves the mailing of the packet.
4. The central ICPC office in the sending state transmits the packet to the ICPC central office in the state where the child would be placed (known as the “receiving state” or the “destination state”). The receiving state reviews the packet and carefully considers the merits of the couple hoping to adopt the child.
5. The central ICPC office in the receiving state then forwards the packet to the prospective couple’s local adoption agency or social services agency in the couple’s immediate local community (in most cases, this local party is the same one that did the home study for the prospective parents).
6. The adoption agency or social services agency travels to the couple’s home and meets with everyone who lives there. Background screenings are conducted. The agency determines whether this is a proper and appropriate placement for the child and documents its decision (approval or denial) within a home study report.
7. The local agency then sends the completed home study report to the central ICPC office in the receiving state. The placement request is formally approved or denied (based on what the home study says).
8. Then, the packet goes from the receiving state to the central ICPC office in the sending state for review.
9. The local office in the sending state (the one that initiated the placement request in Step 1) receives a copy of the completed home study and official word of the receiving state’s decision to approve or deny the placement request.
10. If the placement request has been approved by the receiving state, the child can move into his or her new home.

Interested in learning more details about what is the ICPC? There’s so much more to know! See the following additional resources for further guidance and information:

•        Helpful FAQs on ICPC (website)
•       What Is ICPC and Why Do We Have It? (article)
•        About ICPC (website)

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Get your passport early. You don’t need to know when, or even where, you are going to travel to get your passport. Start early and check this off your list. The process is simple, and you can begin it online at Travel.State.Gov, but it can take up to six weeks.

Do a TSA Precheck. It can take a long time to get through security checks. A TSA Precheck allows you to skip the lines! You are through in less than 10 minutes instead of standing in lines for an hour. Information is at TSA.gov.

See your doctor. There are country-specific vaccinations or considerations that your doctor can tell you about. If you have any prescriptions, make sure you time their refills so that you’ll have enough medication while traveling.

Take an extra suitcase. A soft case can collapse into one of the cases you are taking in to the country. We took our children shopping while in country for clothes. Nothing from the orphanage came with them. We needed that extra suitcase to pack their new clothes, a few souvenirs, and toys.

Pack light. We planned on being in country for almost a month. It’s not easy to plan one suitcase worth of clothes for an entire month! Use mix and match sets, and try to look for colors that don’t easily show wrinkles and wear. We washed under garments in the bath tub at night and hung them to dry. Most toiletries can be bought in country. Don’t bother to bring big bottles of shampoo, body wash, and toiletries. You may not find your brand, but everything is available!

Toys and gifts for orphanages and in-country assistance can also be purchased while you are there. We did bring a few things that were big hits. Balloons provided hours of fun while being batted around the orphanage as did bubbles! Flat soccer balls were a good gift for the orphanage. Bring a small air pump you can leave with them too.

Update your will. You are traveling outside the country. Most people I know are not traveling like royalty. That means that some of the air planes your ride in – or cab trips you take – may make you grateful for that updated will. Really, it’s just a precaution and makes sense. Always keep your will updated.

Introduce your family to your child. Unless your child is an infant your child is going to be a little overwhelmed with all the new people. Bring pictures of your immediate family so you can show him or her who is waiting at home.

Bring a camera. Phone cameras are good, but you will want to take many pictures of your child and their country. A camera and extra storage cards will allow you to take as many pictures as you want.

Start a blog or diary. There is so much happening so fast that you will want to capture before you forget. The first time you see your child’s face. The look of the orphanage, or just the first impression of the country as you land. The details will slip away if you don’t write them down soon after experiencing them. This will be a wonderful source of joy for your children later!

Learn the country. Knowing a little about the country your child is from will help you enjoy the people and culture. Soak it all in so that your child learns to feel proud of where they are from.

Get excited! It’s an adventure! Nothing is going to be like it is at home, and everything is going to be worth it!

Wanting to adopt an orphan in a foreign adoption? Visit  Adoption.com/international to get guidance in your journey.

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Though I swear we had been planning for months, when the time came I frantically searched every adoption site I could find desperate for a list of what to bring. Some things were obvious, clothes, detergent, others (such as gifts) were not. Whether you leave tomorrow to meet your child or you’re just beginning to make a list here’s the top items you want to make sure to include.

1.     Snacks

I am one of the most intrepid travelers. I have been across nearly every continent and rejoice in eating local cuisine. But I had never done that as a first-time parent to a 22 month old I had just met. Though we wanted to experience our son’s home province in China, our first days in the hotel were pretty limited. The hotel food was fine, but I was glad to have a pack of granola bars and a jar of peanut butter in tow. And adoptive parenting tip: introducing snacks to your child while in province will ease the transition when you come home. By the time we landed back in America our son was a goldfish/fruit snack/cheerio convert.

2.     Medicine

When we were first presented with a list of recommended medicines I thought “but I never get sick!” And then I promptly came down with an infection on Day Two with our new son. Pack medicines for both you and your new child. Bring a prescription Z-pack, stomach medicine, Tylenol, and yes band aids (because I promise you will be walking a ton!). For your child bring medicines for lice and scabies – both common for children in institutional care. Also, be sure to pack some Pedialtye for both you and your child. Dehydration can be a real concern if either of you falls ill.

3.     Gifts

For weeks before I traveled I debated over what gifts to bring to the orphanage director and members of the staff who had cared for my son. Most agencies will recommend how many gifts you will need to bring and depending on the culture, it may be quite common for the recipients not to open the gifts in front of you. Remember that old adage, “It’s the thought that counts?” It truly is. Bring something unique to your hometown or something you think they might enjoy. Nice pens, cosmetics, specialty soaps, and/or scarves are always a good idea. Candy is fun too, but stay away from chocolate as it can melt.

4.     Toys / Hotel Room Activities

When we adopted our son we were thrilled to experience China. Except the first ten days we pretty much sat in our hotel adjusting to life as a family. Remember, your sweet new addition has undergone an intensely traumatic experience, so take your time with each other. Age-appropriate games can do wonders to enhance attachment. Stacking cups, bubbles, Playdough, balloons, or even a soccer ball with a pump (have you ever heard of hotel hallway soccer???) can be a fun way to bond with your new child.

5.     Your Photo Book

When we were matched with our son in China (and our daughter in India) we had the chance to create a photo book to send to the orphanage. Inside were pictures of us, our house, our family pets, etc… We were not sure the book would come back with our son (it didn’t), so we made and brought a duplicate just in case. Each day we looked through the book and stressed the images of Mama and Baba. And when we returned home and our son saw our house (and family pets) for the first time he delighted in comparing the books’ images, which went a long way in transitioning him to his new life.

6.     Paperwork and Folder

Sure, you have your passport but what about extra passport photos? And a copy of your I-800A or your home study? Though I knew I most likely wouldn’t need it, I made sure to make copies of all the relevant documents of our adoption. Some we needed, others we didn’t, but I was glad I brought them. And the crazy part? We accumulated more paperwork. Since most international adoptions are finalized in-country be sure to bring a good sturdy folder where you can place everything. You will need 99% of those documents again when you file for your child’s social security card, certificate of citizenship, and readoption.

7.     Journal

I am and have always been a writer. Not everyone processes experiences through words, but bring a journal with you. At the end of each day, even if it’s just for 5 minutes, take a moment and write down what you experienced that day. Write what you ate, what your child ate. Write how your child slept, or didn’t sleep. Write what you saw or what games you played. Write how the experience changed you and how the experience is changing your child. Whether it’s simple bullet points or long elegant paragraphs, I promise it will mean so much to both you and your child–for in those pages will lie the beginning of your story as a family. And that is the greatest gift of all.

How about you? What is in your top “must bring” list for travel to your child’s country? Any items that are missing? What helped you the most? What did you wish you had brought?

More guidance and ideas for your foreign adoption as you adopt an orphan can be found at Adoption.com/international.

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Traveling as a new adoptive parent can look differently from traveling with a newborn, or traveling with a bunch of teenagers. New adoptive parents may be dealing with children who have attachment issues, fear of travel/cars/the unknown/new places, communication barriers, sensory disorders, trauma, etc. Despite the special circumstances adoptive parents face, traveling doesn’t have to be something to fear.

Here are five tried-and-true travel tips for new adoptive parents that will help ease your trip, and, hopefully, make it an enjoyable one.

1. Love the layovers.

If you’re flying as new adoptive parents and have your new little one in tow, use your layovers as time to regroup. Rushing can make things more difficult for a child who has never flown, or has a fear of new places, so taking the time to walk slowly through a new airport may make the difference between a good or chaotic connecting flight. Enjoy the new place, get some food, and give your child a chance to decompress, either with you or alone. Removing stress about timing will only help put your child more at ease.

2. Food is everything.

If your child enjoys food, this can be your ticket to sanity. If you’re flying, take offs and landings can be difficult for littles with sensitive ears. A bottle works wonders if they’re small, and gum or gummies can work if they’re older. Even if you’re not flying, snacks can be a great way to ease discomfort or pass some serious time. Take a fishing tackle box, the kind with all the small compartments, and fill each separate area with a different lovable snack. They’ll be so excited about all the options, it’ll keep them busy for quite a while, and you’ll even get some fine motor practice in. For those new adoptive parents with children who have food issues, this can make things tricky. The squeezable pouches have saved many who have children who can’t chew. Even sippy cups full of different kinds of juice can be enough of a variation to help the stress of travel.

3. Therapy can travel, too.

A weighted blanket, or even something as simple as a sock filled with beans, can really help calm a sensory-sensitive child when in the midst of travel. Traveling can be scary, especially if your child hasn’t done it before, so something that gives your child some calming sensory input can really help chill nerves. Plus, if your child will be needing (or is already involved in) occupational therapy, I’m sure your therapist will be quite proud.

4. If you’ve got them, wear them.

If your child is young enough, or small enough, wear them! Babywearing is such a wonderful way to encourage bonding and attachment, and it creates a sense of trust and calm during moments where your child may be on alert. There are so many different style of carriers out there, from wraps to ring slings to soft structured carriers; so do your research and learn your preferences. Even if your child is bigger, they have carriers designed to hold kindergarteners and beyond. Babywearing could be a lifesaver for you in a new country, in an airport, on a plane, or in a new vacation spot.

5. Don’t stress over the mess.

Even if things are going horribly and your child is having out-of-this-world level meltdowns, don’t stress. Traveling can be tough on a newly adopted child. Everything they’ve ever known was most likely just recently removed, and the fear of that happening again could cause so many emotions, maybe all at once. Help show your child love, comfort, joy, and peace by utilizing your adoptive education and training techniques. Let your child regroup however is needed.

Even if traveling to the beach for the first time ended with seven out of eight days in the hotel, that’s okay. Next time will be better. Each travel experience will be a little better; because as your child learns to trust, they’ll learn that even new places can be fun. Don’t let them see you stress–your calm can be their calm.

Traveling doesn’t have to be scary. For new adoptive parents, traveling may look differently than it does for your friends. But, with the right tools and tricks in your back pocket, even the toughest days can be wins.

If you are adopting internationally and would like more travel tips, visit Adoption.com/international.

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